I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize