the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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