Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
