i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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