My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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