JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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