The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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