Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
