Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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