I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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