i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
