dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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