just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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