is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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