ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
