My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
