yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
