Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
