Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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