that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
