She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
