I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
