Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Even my vagina gasped.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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