do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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