I just made out with a guy for $7.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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