it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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