she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
