just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize