Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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