ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
