dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
