We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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