we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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