I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
