Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
