it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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