I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
