what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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