Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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