batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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