a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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