Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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