yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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