and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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