what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
