last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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