Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
