1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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