Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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