I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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