i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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