No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
