If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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