sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Alive.
So much puke
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
