Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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