conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
